a whole new world

Yes that is an Aladdin reference, well spotted. My favourite Disney cartoon in fact. I did a dance in front of my whole school to one of the songs, dressed in full genie costume. I was awesome.

Anyway, welcome to my new little bloggie. I love it already. Never fear, I will still be hilarious on Oh Errol frequently, I just needed a space for my own stuff.

‘In fine feather’ is a retro expression for being in good health. An expression that, due to my own stupidity, does not apply to me. Basically, this blog is going to me documenting my journey (oh God, I just said journey with no irony…kill me) into good health. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I have the worst immune system in the world. I am constantly (and I mean CONSTANTLY) tired. I can easily sleep 14 hours straight and still struggle the next day. It’s more than tiredness, it’s straight up fatigue. Most days I feel like I’m dragging my corpse around, barely functioning.

I have a totally fucked up neck and back and even though I see a chiropractor regularly, I still live on huge amounts of codeine. Sometimes it’s so bad I need Panadeine Extra.

I don’t drink booze every day, it’s more of a weekend thing. But when I do have a drink, wellllll…..yeh. It’s always to excess and the older I get the worse the hangovers are. I eat way too much junk, drink literally litres of Diet Coke/Coke Zero a day and cannot function without my can of V in the morning.

All this is bad enough for the average person, but I suffer from a myriad of food allergies and intolerances that I am fully aware of, but have spent the last 10 years or so trying to ignore. The things I love the most, Coke, cheese, pasta, chips, tomatoes and anything highly coloured or flavoured….all of it, I am super intolerant to.

I crave what makes me sick, I eat it and unsuprisingly….it makes me sick.

I’ve pushed the knowledge that my lifestyle is making me sick so far down that I am constantly at the doctor getting a battery of tests to diagnose what’s wrong with me. All the time really knowing it’s all due to my bad choices. I’m lucky that even though I eat whatever I want and do literally no exercise (seriously, I get puffed walking up stairs) I’ve never been bigger than a size 12. And thanks to copious amounts of fake tan, concealer and blush, I manage to fake looking like a normal human being. But the reality is, I have dark circles under my eyes that extend to my cheeks and underneath the cute babydoll dresses, my body looks like a 45 yr old mother of 3. It ain’t pretty.

Essentially, I have had enough. I’m turning 29 in a few months and the thought of hitting 30 feeling like this scares the shit out of me. So I’ve decided enough is enough, I am making Big Scary Changes.

After many failed diets and ‘healthy living’ attempts, I’ve realised I need to go all out and get rid of EVERYTHING that’s bad for me. I needed a huge boost to start me off so right now I am on Day One of a 5 day detox. After much research I chose Urban Remedy and so far, so good. I get 6 fruit and vegie juices a day, and they taste pretty damn awesome. You aren’t supposed to eat solid foods but considering I am detoxing from well, basically everything, I have changed it a little bit so I don’t go on a shooting rampage down Maroubra Road.

I’m allowing myself to have one bowl of wholegrain oatmeal and strawberries (sweetened with agave syrup) plus some raw vegies with a smidge of natural yoghurt. And that’s it.

So far I just feel reallllllly bloody tired and a bit dizzy. Hopefully the energy and I FEEL AMAZING AND LIKE SO HEALTHY AND STUFF will kick in soon. I’ll update every day because I need something to do that doesn’t involve stuffing my face with Easy Mac.

I feel positive and that this, finally, is my time. Let’s do this!